Course Description | Grading Criteria | Sample Student Papers & Responses

"A" Paper:

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Opening Paragraph:

In “Farewell the Open Mind”, the author, Jeremy Campbell, affirms that “ a form of prejudice, a certain point of view, creates a blindness that blocks a scientist’s mental vision in certain directions, while extending it in other, perhaps more interesting directions”. This point of view seems paradoxical and hard to be understood by most people. They usually think that bias is not good, because it limits their ability to view a situation in its entirety. This is not unlike Confuscious’ admonition that people should keep neutral in most circumstance to avoid serious mistakes; this philosophy has prevailed in China for a thousand years. View through Confuscious’ lens, Campbell’s perspective is not paradoxical: everything has two sides – good and bad. They are a paradoxical unity. It’s significant to demonstrate that bias helps and limits people simultaneously since bias exists in people’s ordinary life and the scientific field extensively.

Body Paragraph:

In fact, Edward Abbey’s certain view helps him be accustomed to the hard environment mainly. Another example of this kind of bias is the author of “Challenge: An Exploration”, Nancy Mairs, who thinks that “physical challenge” is actually “spiritual challenge”. She doesn’t see how the phrase “Physical challenge” distinguishes her from anyone else who works hard or plays hard. Her problems are not “disabled”, but are “what choices we make in the fact of danger, and difficulty, and loss determine the true shape and depth of our being”, the same with all people’s. Thinking of “spiritual challenge” as the human condition assists Mairs to despise the physical difference, gain courage to overcome the difficult situation and lead her to accomplishment. Certainly, this perspective is unavoidable to block her inner ability to discern something that is really physical challenge. For example, it is very hard for her to run as quickly as most other people no matter how courageous she is. Spirit can’t change the difference at this time. Generally, both the above categories of prejudice do no harm to the other persons. However, in the third place, a certain bias may only benefits to a certain kind of people while it not only obstructs these people’s mind but also hurts other people. This bias’ influence can be displayed in Ronald Takaki’s “A Different Mirror”. In this text, the author describes two kinds of biases about America’s identity and culture. One kind of bias is that some people define “American” as “white”, because they have a sense of the past- “a history that has viewed American as European in ancestry”. This point of view clearly helps retain and sustain values held by whites. On the other hand, it helps whites dominate the main society and control other races or ethnic groups in America. On the other hand, it makes them focus on the white culture’s origin, like how European’s cultures especially English’s culture influence America, and what’s the difference among them in nowadays, etc. Of course, this perspective also helps American keep the culture and tradition inheriting from European. However, the shortcomings of this kind of bias are significant too. First, it causes people not to be able to recognize the truth that America is a multicultural country. Second, it makes people ignore other cultures’ contribution to America. Third, it leads to racial discrimination. The last point is the most serious disadvantage and always a potential crisis existing in American society. It’s obviously that the point of view is unfair to the other races and ethnic groups in America since they all work for America. Sometimes, racial discrimination prevents people with different ethnicities from melting in the mainstream society. The other bias in this text is that some people think that American is composed of different races and ethnic groups “African Americans, Asian Americans, Chicanos, Irish, Jews, and Indians” equally, and they have the same contribution to the formation of American culture. This perspective makes them feel equal to whites and let them analyze American culture more extensively, from Africa to Asian and from blacks to yellows. But, these people ignore the “inordinate power of English immigrants defining American culture” and fail to understand the racial discrimination. They may become pessimist to current situation. Of course, considering America as a multicultural country also lower the white leading position. To this kind of bias, there may be more disadvantages than advantages.

Instructor Response:

The paper begins by identifying the essential premise behind the argument of Campell—bias can extend the human into different directions. By localizing the main idea of Campell, the student then is prepared to examine the complications that emerge when trying to understand the purpose of bias. The introduction has a wonderful “A” moment when there is mention of Confucius. The student maintains that there is not a paradox evident in the argument by Campell that bias is good, and then takes the point further by asserting that there is a paradoxical unity between good and bad. There is a sense of ambition here and the paper then carefully explores how bias “helps and limits” people in their everyday lives.

There are three identifiable areas of bias, but notice that the student does not begin simple transition words, such as “first,” “second,” and “third.” The student asserts that the first area of bias involves investigation, and in the area of science, this bias can help develop ideas. However, the student finds that in the area of law, bias can become a detriment. Notice the care the student gives to finding complications within the area of investigation. The concept of investigation, then, becomes the link to the second area of bias, whereby someone’s perspective on a topic can represent both progress and limitations. The writer acknowledges how Abbey and Mairs have a better understanding of their respective situations as a result of their bias; yet, at the same time, each author is confined by certain subjectivity with respect to his or her situation.

The student gives a qualified endorsement of the subjective viewpoint that Abbey and Mairs have, then points out how this subjectivity can lead to broader social and cultural problems. In the third and final area, bias can construct a hostile environment that leads to the problems discussed by Takaki in his essay. At the end of the section on Takaki, the student concludes that “there may be more advantages than disadvantages” to the nature of bias.

In the conclusion to the essay, the student maintains, “bias is a two-faced sword.” We are told that “nothing is perfect” and the paper realizes what has been the project since the beginning: “understanding the philosophy of bias will help us approach the ideal kingdom.” Note how the student does not have a rigid approach to the topic. What the writer does is point out that only by “understanding” the problem can we then begin to deal with the problem itself.

 

"B" Paper:

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Opening Paragraph:

Prejudice means the strong inclination of the mind or a preconceived opinion about something or someone, indicated in the current dictionary. As human beings, we are influenced by our preconceived notions constructed from the childhood or our professional biases. We tend to pre-judge events according to our knowledge of experiences and we are not conscious about our biases. In “Challenge: An Exploration” by Nancy Mairs, in “Water” by Edward Abbey and in “Except from A Different Mirror” by Ronald Takaki, they all exhibit their biases in views. Their attitudes produce their positively oriented lives. Taking another perspective from the other side, Campbell says, “that a prejudice may create ‘blinders’ that block one’s mental vision”, while a bias obstructs the way to progress forward.

Body Paragraph:

Furthermore, expressing “Excerpt from A Different Mirror”, usually, Ronald Takaki points out the taxt driver’s racial bias which reflects American’ general concept. From the taxi driver’s point, people are not Americans as long as they are not white. In other words, only the white and the red are Americans; then, the yellow are never Americans forever. Indeed, people are affected by their frame of perception established from their self-built value. In the context, Takaki try to explain and clarify the misunderstood from an angle of history. Actually, this country was built by different races. Tracing back the nineteen twentieth century, the black were imported from Africa into America. Although they are slaves, however, their contribution to the economic prosperity in cotton should not be blotted out. In addition, the early immigrants from the whole world established this home with their blood and labor. However, because the plenty of peoples surged in the United States, the original began to against races. Gradually, people to people, race to race, they naturally wants to protect themselves from being invaded by different peoples. Developing from this concept, people in the same race units a strong coherence and take care each other and rejects the peoples outside.

Instructor Response:

The first thing evident about this paper is that unlike the “A” paper, sentence level errors at times interfere with the intentions of the author. The errors indicate that the student has not quite mastered the level of competency that is demonstrated in an “A” paper. While the overall meaning of the paper is clear, at times there is a lack of clarity about the content that mars the effect of the writer.

The introduction is problematic here in the paper. The writer presents a broad generalization (all the authors look at prejudice) and then takes only a part of Campbell’s premise on bias and makes a sweeping judgment about the writer: “bias obstructs the way to progress forward.” Yes, but only to a certain extent, and the subtle implications of Campbell are lost on the writer.

The body of the paper is good in itself, but there is a problem with how the information is presented. Typical of a “B” paper, the writer blocks out the sources (Mars, Abbey, Tacky). The connections are implied rather than stated, and unlike the sample “A” paper, there is no effort to move the paper in a different direction. While there are interesting moments (the position that Mars misunderstands compassion) the student never looks beyond what is the position in the paper: bias is wrong. The complications of the subject are not evident, and so there is a tendency to state the obvious.

However, consistent with a “B” paper, the obvious is told in such a way that all the basic ideas come across in each paragraph of the essay. That remains the problem with the paper from beginning to end—only the obvious is examined, and there is no evidence that the paper has given us a “new way” of (re) reading the texts.